How to Create a Healthy Family Environment (as a Child)
Home... The sweet little den of your dreams where you wish to be with your family.. Who doesn't like being at home? The comfort of lazing in your own bed, waking up to your mom's sweet voice, listening to your dad talking about how you made him proud or just cracking up with him on a joke while your mum makes your favorite breakfast for you. Nothing beats the silly fights with your siblings over food and who is the favorite kid and what not. And most importantly the way you are received with a warm embrace, the feeling of being understood and loved when you return home after being undone by your friends or someone you trusted deeply, nothing beats that. This article will tell you some things that contribute to a healthy family environment.
Dealing with Parents
Respect your parents.No matter what they do, how they look and how much they earn, your parents are the reason why you are loved, fed, clothed and warm. They chose to love you, be gentle and kind towards you, spend sleepless nights as you cried busting their sleep but still kissed your nose before they left for work while you slept contently tucked in. They chose to fret over every sickness and problem you faced. They read out stories to you and taught you the lessons of life along with the moral, values and ethics that eventually decide who you will be. They fulfilled every wish and desire you had, even if it meant changing important plans or breaking the budget, without you ever knowing the things that went behind getting the favourite toy or dress you liked. They did all this only for your smile and your happiness. So respect them for who they are. They will only want the best for you.
Listen to them.They have oddly around 30 years of experience of life more than you, so it's quite obvious why your parents will make many important decisions in your early life. These will range from your name to which school you attend, and in some cases and cultures, what job you choose or even the choice of your life partner.
- There are some choices you cannot do much about, when you are actually too young to make any correct one. But as you grow up there are many other things where they include you in the discussion. This does not mean that you nod to whatever they say but rather try to understand their reason and put forward your own thoughts regarding that topic. Again, do not be as stubborn as a mule but still be respectful in sharing your reasons and opinions. It's very frustrating to be listening to someone 20 years younger than you, raise their voice at you. Avoid doing that. Your parents understand your individuality is the basis of your interpretation of the lessons you learnt from them and your own experiences and they respect it. Be attentive to them and take their wisdom and knowledge in the right intent.
Love them.This is easy. It comes naturally to most of us. But as time goes on and we grow older, caught up in the hassles and entertainments of our own age, we lose the importance of spending time with our parents. On their part, they understand and quietly ignore it, being happy in the knowledge that you are happy.
- It's difficult to make time but then that again is up to you. Is that movie really important to watch? Or that football match really important enough to go to? Can't you enjoy watching it from home where you can watch your dad turn into a teen again as he enjoys it with you? Can you not go out for an evening with your parents, taking them to some of the places you liked eating at with your friends?
Hug your parents when you get the chance.It may feel a little odd but just let yourself go and remember how you hugged them as a kid, because that's what you will always remain for them. Kiss your mum on the cheek before you leave for college. You don't know she might be missing it. Tell them how much you love them whenever you get the chance or when you feel it. And mean every single thing you say, because they always know when you are lying.
Do your chores.Clean your room and do your laundry. Don't add on extra work for your mum. Help your dad with the car, the lawn, the pool, the fence and other chores. Take out the garbage. Go the bank and do the simple tasks. All these will teach you many things and help free your parents time.
Make them feel special.When was the last time you saw your mum sit back and relax while the food cooked itself? Chances are never. If she is not in the kitchen she will be tidying up some other room, cleaning up behind you. Help her out over weekends. Do the dishes and the vegetables. Talk to her all the while, tell her your college pranks and about the girls you like (depending on how cool your mum is with it.. haha.. ). Make her laugh. Help your dad out with his work. Confide in him, ask him what he used to do when he was your age, the pranks he played and how he met your mum. Play an indoor or outdoor game with them on weekends. Give them massages when their body aches. Take care of them when they fall sick in the same way they did when you were sick. Drive your dad to work if you are free. When he comes back home get him some water to drink before he asks for it. He has had a tiring day. Understand that. Save your pocket money and buy gifts for them for their anniversaries and birthdays. Make time for them, because that is what they crave for more than anything else - your time.
Trust them.Make them your best confidantes and you will never have to worry about your secrets leaking out. They really are the best keepers of secrets. And what do you know, they might just help you out with their experience.
Support them.They grow old every single day as you do. But for many of us we do not notice the fine wrinkles and grey hair that slowly creeped into their institutions until we actually sit next to them. They grow old right in front of our eyes. Sometimes, they don't even need us. They are strong. But still we should look after them and care for them. They don't need many things - only our love and affection in the purest form.
- So take care of them when old age knocks at their door, just as they cared for us and were tolerant with us when we were babies and errant youths, because the first people who truly ever wanted you to succeed and were joyful at the first step you took may need you in their last steps. Be with them, love them, respect them and support them. Always.
Dealing with Siblings
Love them.They come in all sizes and shapes but most of us have their best memories growing up along with their siblings. They are mad, fun and completely crazy to hang out with. They may have different friends, groups, choices and likes/dislikes but all of them under one roof is one recipe for a fun-riot. Love them unconditionally and cherish them. They will be the ones who will always understand you.
Listen to them.The more siblings you have the more choices you will have. All it means is some inputs may be valuable and some just to make you laugh. Also, if you are providing inputs, be careful about what you say and how you say it. It is possible that a true fact may upset your brother/sister but the way you say it will make the difference whether you are empathizing or having a laugh at their expense.
Create trust and unity.Cultivate the habit of keeping secrets. This builds trust. Even if there are differences between you, be united and support each other when they need you. This will build a strength in your family that no one will be able to break.
Support and motivate them.Help them when they need it. Even if they don't ask. Offer to help them and don't talk down to them. Motivate them to work hard be it sports, studies or whatever they like and appreciate every achievement heartily. Be proud of their achievements and don't be shy to push them harder. Nothing revs someone up more than the word of someone who loves and trusts you.
Surprise them.Everyone likes to be surprised. Buy them gifts and the things they need. You don't have to wait for a birthday to gift your siblings. Or take them out for a spin or some trendy cool place you hang out at. Bowling and snooker are fun with siblings so are amusement parks and football matches. Plan some weekends together and have a refreshing blast. Because those who laugh together live together.
- Always be patient and speak in a kind manner with your loved ones. This includes your parents and siblings.
- Make everyone look forward to having you in the house. Be kind and a complete box of happiness.
- Try to help your parents/siblings without them having to ask you. This doesn't mean you do your younger brother's homework because he is lazy. You teach him how to do his stuff so he does not need help again.
- Exercise with your siblings if possible. If you are all like minded go together for a trek or learn a sport together.
- Keep work and college tension miles away from home. Let home be the go-to place to unwind.
- Some parents are not so chilled out with knowing who their children are dating (especially in the case of young kids). Choose to let your parents know at your own risk. Still, do not hide it from them for too long.
- Trusting your siblings is very good. But a healthy line should always be drawn to make sure the lines of privacy are not crossed. Some siblings are not okay to discuss whom they are dating while others are secretive about their passions and dreams.
- If you think you know a secret of your brother/sister that may harm him/her if it is not looked into urgently, go ahead and let your parents know. He/she may hate you for it but in hindsight it will do them good (mostly).
- Help your siblings with money, but if you feel they are spending it on things they do not need or something that is not good, have a kind word with them and turn to someone elder for help.
Video: Creating happy family environment
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